Top 10 Tips for Stressed Out Moms

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Spring should be a time of quiet renewal, a reawakening after a long winter. The weather is beautiful, birds are singing, daffodils are blooming. Sounds peaceful, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, May has become BUSY with the ending of school year events, summer activities beginning early, and sport team practices moving into high gear. Throw in a graduation, wedding or even a birthday and it becomes nutty. Hopefully Mother’s Day was a reprieve from the chaos of this month.

Here’s a list of ways to help manage not only this hectic month but the summer months as well. When life gets too busy the focus is on the calendar and clock, not God and family. And often when we are over scheduled and stressed out, any bump in the road (illness, injury, etc.) can derail the whole family.

1. Take a deep breath. Realize this too shall pass. The stress of today will be gone and replaced by another pressing issue tomorrow. You’ll soon forget what was causing angst today.

2. Give yourself permission to say no to volunteer requests. Saying no allows someone else an opportunity to serve and creates margin for you.

3. Be selective in activities for your child. Children do not have to experience every extra curricular activity before kindergarten. Hectic schedules can be the result of peer pressure to enroll kids in too many activities.

4. Rest. Get enough sleep to feel rejuvenated and ready to take on the day.

5. Eat well. Skip the quick pick-me-ups like caffeine and sugar. Opt for whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.

6. Stay hydrated to avoid a whole host of health problems including headaches. Nothing is worse than a stress and dehydration headache.

7. Take time to be with your spouse, alone. Time without kids to focus on the two of you builds a strong relationship. Keep in mind the kids joined your marriage.

8. Keep up with your own interests. Having a hobby helps to relieve stress and gives you personal time to enjoy your own interests.

9. Join forces with other parents. Organize carpools, homework helps, and babysitting. Find a friend, preferably one who is a good cook, and offer to share meals once a week, each making double to provide dinner for one another.

10. Pray! Reliance on God will take the pressure off you. As the old adage goes, “Give it to God, He’s going to be up all night anyway.” Quiet time to discuss the problems of the day is balm for the soul.

He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
Isaiah 40:29

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A.C.T.S.- Serving Others

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Moms (and dads) spend a lot of time training children to see the needs of others and then step in to help. This has been the topic of many blog posts, both here on Faith First Parent and 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting. My most recent post, How Can I Help You?, gave ideas for serving both in the home and outside the home. When children are given opportunities to assist those in need, they become accustomed to serving others whether family members or strangers.

This summer you and I have a fabulous opportunity to join Adventures in Odyssey and Tyndale House for the Summer of Service A.C.T.S. blog tour.

Here are the details of the tour!

Adventures in Odyssey, the beloved audio series from Focus on the Family, has encouraged kids toward a stronger faith for 25 years. Whit, Connie, Eugene, and the other loveable characters from Odyssey have shared countless adventures with kids across the world in the classic audio dramas, books, videos, and devotionals, fulfilling the AIO promise to help kids discover, imagine, and grow.

This summer, Adventures in Odyssey is joining with Christian bookstores across the country, inviting kids to participate in a Summer of Service. They’re promoting the biblical message, “When you serve, everybody wins,” encouraging kids to serve their families, their communities, and their world. Whether it’s baking cookies for an elderly neighbor or putting together a care package for missionaries overseas, kids will discover that serving can be a blast!

Here’s how the A.C.T.S. (A Call to Service) challenge and contest works. Kids who join A.C.T.S. can pick up a service log and collect fun character stickers for hours served at participating bookstores throughout the summer, or download a serving log online at whitsend.org.  At the end of the summer, kids can record and upload a short video telling how they serve and why they’d like to become an Adventures in Odyssey Ambassador.

A hundred winners will get the brand new AIO Album, and after online voting, two grand prize winners (one boy and one girl) will get to travel on an exciting Good-Goers Mission Based Adventure trip to another country with a parent! The out-of-country destination will be announced on a live podcast May 22—hosted by AIO actors Katie Leigh (Connie) and Chris Anthony (Chris)—which you can watch at whitsend.org/acts.

Click here for the MP3 download, “The Business of Busyness” and a PDF of service ideas for your family!

Join Adventures in Odyssey this summer to discover how fun it can be to serve others!

 

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others,
as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
1 Peter 4:10

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In what ways do you and your family serve others? Share your ideas with other parents!

Unintentionally Inspired by Mom

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To continue All About Mom month, it is my pleasure to introduce guest blogger, Erin MacPherson, my friend and the author of The Christian Mama’s Guide series. I was honored to endorse, The Christian Mama’s Guide to the School Years.

Enter to win the four book series! Details are listed below.

 

Unintentionally Inspired by Mom      by Erin MacPherson

My mom and I. Me and my mom.

We have an…what shall I call it?…interesting relationship. Formed through years of prayer, decades of hopeful conversation, mutual understanding, strong-willed emotion, and a good dose of teenage angst and rebellion mixed in for good measure.

I’ll admit it: there was a time when I was convinced that my mom was a relic. A relic that couldn’t possibly understand the modern world that I lived in.

I, of course, had life all figured out. But she was old—outdated if you will. How could she at forty understand what its like to stand alone in a college dorm room and choose right over easy? Or to know that buy-it-now-and-pay-later is much more convenient than eating dinner off of a cardboard box because I couldn’t afford a table? Or to know recognize that the tried-and-true principals she had touted when I was a kid simply didn’t cut it in my new-thinking world.

I didn’t need my mom’s old-fashioned ideas. (Didn’t she realize that things have changed since the 70′s?)

I didn’t need my mom’s help. (Unless, of course, I couldn’t pay my rent.)

And I certainly didn’t need my mom’s advice.

But then it happened: I had a son.

And not the sweet-tempered, well-behaved son that I had envisioned raising, but instead, a wild-hearted boy who thought he knew all the answers. Sound familiar?

And suddenly, my vision cleared.

I remember a day that my son leaned over his plate and spit food out onto the floor saying “No eat this, Mommy!” Words that I had read in my modern world of books and websites echoed through my mind. Clear expectations. Consistent consequences. Spare the rod. Break the will. 

But none of my knowledge—my modern-world gleaned expertise—could match my toddler’s will. Or my mom’s experience.

I called my mom.

She prayed with me. She reminded me that God has incredible patience with his children and urged me to show similar patience to my son. She gave me few simple tricks, a tip here and a hefty dose of prayer there.

And she reminded me: God’s principles are timeless.

And so is my mom’s love for me.

Erin MacPherson is the author of “The Christian Mama’s Guide” series, a series of books born out of her quest to help moms through camaraderie, friendship, and God’s love. Her mom, Ellen Schuknecht, a 35-year educational veteran, prayerfully came beside her to help her write her books, even contributing expert advice in places. Erin blogs at www.christianmamasguide.com.    

WIN THE FOUR BOOK SERIES!
Enter the give-away by leaving a comment below before Mother’s Day, May 12th!

NOTE: This give-away is open to residents of the U.S. only. Void where prohibited. Must be at least 18 years of age to enter.

 

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MOM is the Best Title of All

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This month it’s All About Mom! The mothers in our lives, biological, step, adoptive, foster, grand, in-law, godmothers, and second mothers are all celebrated on May 12th, Mother’s Day. I have to say, MOM is my all time favorite title. It’s simple, sweet, and I share it with millions of other women. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Those three little letters are filled with unconditional love and total commitment to the two children God has blessed me with to raise for Him.

My youngest son’s first word was “Mama” or so I’d like to think. He strung “ma-ma” together into a long singsong melody each afternoon at the end of naptime. I’d wait to hear his “Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma Song” from the nursery. When I’d arrive at the door and peek inside, his eyes would light up, a grin would stretch from ear to ear, and the volume of the song would increase greatly. Talk about a mood booster!

The title has morphed over the years from Mama to Mommy to Mom. Peer pressure played into the transition. Big preschool boys call their mothers, “Mommy.” And once kindergarten hits, it’s “Mom.”

As the boys were busy drawing one day, my then kindergartener wrote M-O-M on his paper. My older son was seated across the table from his brother. He looked at the up-side-down artwork. He read W-O-W. A funny discussion ensued.

“Eric, you wrote, ‘WOW!’”

“No, I wrote ‘MOM!”

This went back and forth until they both looked at the page from the other’s vantage point. They were both correct. Laughing like little boys often do when something strikes them as really funny, they brought the paper to me.

“Look MOM, you’re WOW.”

Now they are teenagers. The “WOW” has definitely worn off but the love is great. I L-O-V-E my title, M-O-M is the B-E-S-T!

What is your favorite part of being a mom, whether biological, step, adoptive, foster, grandma, mother-in-law, godmother, or second mother?

“Honor your father and mother”
—which is the first commandment with a promise—
Ephesians 6:2 

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How Can I Help You?

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When I’m offered assistance I feel cared for, don’t you? Whether it’s my boys, husband or the kid bagging groceries, it’s really nice to have help. Life is a little sweeter when you don’t have to do the heavy lifting alone.

Jesus came to serve, not to be served (Matthew 20:28). We can do likewise. Train your children to identify the needs of others and step in to assist. It’s a habit we want to instill in kids. Begin modeling when children are young so it becomes natural to want to help. Matching socks, sorting silverware, and organizing toys are all ways of helping. (They are good pre-math skills too!) Step up the expectation as kids mature. When children are given opportunities to help at home, they become accustomed to serving others.

Ideas for serving in the home
• Cleaning-vacuuming, dusting
• Unloading, reloading dishwasher
• Trash and recycling duty
• Washing windows
• Yard work
• Keeping one’s personal space neat
• Laundry assistance
• Meal preparation

When everyone helps, housework is more manageable. Since all reside in the house, everyone can be responsible for helping to keep living spaces clean. Coach kids to do simple tasks like scrubbing sinks, vacuuming, and washing windows. Train children to see things that need to be done. Servanthood can include simple tasks like changing the toilet paper roll… without being asked!

Charity begins at home, but should not end there.
Thomas Fuller

Start at home then move to serving outside the home. Coming to the aid of others doesn’t have to be a big event like a mission trip. There are many easy ways to meet the needs of others.

Ideas for serving outside the home
• Donating food to the local food shelf
• Serving dinner at homeless shelter
• Fast food gift certificates for the hungry on street corners
• Toy drives (Kids can use their own money to make purchases.)
• Volunteering in the nursery at church
• Spring yard work for the elderly
• Garbage pick-up in the local park
• Giving the proceeds from a lemonade stand or yard sale to charity

One way our family serves others is in preparing a Mercy Meal. When we hear about a family in need, we call to express our desire to help, schedule a drop off time and date, and check for food allergies. On the scheduled day, we prepare a meal for the family and deliver it to their home in a basket. The basket has a tag attached informing the family we will pick up the basket on the front steps the following morning with the serving dishes/pans/plastic containers from the dinner. This leaves them free of having to return the basket and other items. It’s one small way to share our love with others. And it’s been really good hands-on learning for the boys!

Look around your neighborhood, church, child’s school, and community. Who could use a helping hand?

…just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve
Matthew 20:28a

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Faith Walks and Talks

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In continuing the topic of healthy habits for families, let’s talk about faith walks. Children do what they see Mom and Dad doing. So, if we want our children to walk in faith, we need to do the same.

This concept was brought home to me when my boys were little. I would often curl up in bed to do my Bible study after the boys were tucked in for the night. They rarely saw me studying. Not good! The routine has changed. Now my homework is done while they do their schoolwork. As high schoolers, the boys help out by proofreading my blog posts. They read about my faith walk often!

Another habit is to talk about what my husband, Scott, and I are studying. More importantly, we discuss how we are applying the lessons to our own lives. This makes the Word of God something more tangible and applicable.

Lori Wildenberg, my ministry partner, and I encourage parents to Talk the Talk, Walk the Walk, and Talk About the Walk with children. Here are the specifics.

Talk the Talk Take the time to talk about God to build faith in children. Discuss your Bible study with your kids. Share what you’ve learned and how you’re planning on implementing the lessons in your life. 

Walk the Walk Model what you believe. When kids see Mom and Dad in action, they generally follow. If you are kind to others, your children will mimic kindness. If you are a person of your word, your children will learn to trust you. If the name of the Lord is honored, using God’s name casually will not be part of your child’s vocabulary.  

Talk about the Walk What does a Christian lifestyle look like? Discuss the choices you make as those decisions relate to your faith. What charities do you support? What activities do you participate in or choose not to take part in because of your belief in God and the authority of Scripture? Discussions such as this provide concrete reasons for the principles you stand for as a follower of Christ.

Talk the Talk, Walk the Walk, and Talk About the Walk with your children! For more strategies in how to implement faith in your home, visit 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting!

Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your strength.
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.
Impress them on your children.
Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road,
when you lie down and when you get up.
Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9

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Family Time…Quality Verses Quantity

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Intentional family time is another healthy habit that’s worth its weight in gold. Spending time with family is undoubtedly important. But the debate has existed for years over what’s truly best, quantity or quality. I’m going to suggest both. From quantity comes quality. 

Really good quality time can be planned. Vacations, family fun nights, and family dinners can be specific times scheduled for everyone to be together. But just because the time is designated doesn’t mean all will happen as planned. Even the best-laid plans can get derailed. The dream vacation can become a fiasco. Family fun night can be interrupted by an unforeseen business trip. Family dinner can be cancelled due to a little league playoff game. Life happens. This is where the quantity piece fits into the equation. Mathematically speaking the more time families spend together the more quality time increases providing opportunities for relationship building.

On a recent vacation, my family and I came across a pay phone at a rest stop. The phone looked dilapidated and was even beginning to rust. Cell phones have made pay phones almost obsolete. Changes are inevitable. The way we view family time sometimes needs to change too. Things don’t always just fall into place. Intentionality is key. With all the great options we have for activities, choices need to be made carefully. What’s the best use of our time and our children’s time? What activities draw us together rather than pulling us apart?

With quantity comes quality. Think of your relationship with God. The more time spent in prayer and the Bible, the closer one can draw to the Lord. The more time we intentionally spend with our spouse and children, the closer we become as a family. When children live in an environment where family relationships and time spent together are valued, they learn the importance of family. This becomes the norm.

Intentionally set aside time to be together. As the quantity of time builds, the quality will grow. This will be a model for family life for your children. And, trust me…you’ll have fun together!

Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

Power Tool for Parents

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Every parent desires to raise healthy kids with positive habits. We feed our children nutritious foods, encourage them to exercise, and establish good sleep routines. We take our kids for check-ups with the pediatrician and dentist regularly. From homework to sports to piano practice, we guide our children, instructing them to develop daily routines that will last a lifetime.

This month, we’re going to talk about four foundational faith habits,beginning with prayer. Communicating with the ones we love builds strong relationships. This applies to our relationship with our Heavenly Father too. The more time we spend in communion with the Lord, prayer and the Bible, the better we will know God’s character and will for our lives.
Start simple. Continue to slowly add to your child’s prayer life, guiding and encouraging the practice to become the child’s. Just as your child speaks to you throughout the day, encourage him to connect with God at times other than bedtime and meals.

Providing a pattern for children to follow will keep the prayers focused and help to keep prayer time from becoming a laundry list of wants. The A.C.T.S. prayer model has been helpful in my family. Beginning with adoration, list attributes of God. Little children are capable of describing God as awesome, powerful, kind, and so on.

Confessing sins is the second step. Preparing one’s heart for a God encounter requires a clean slate. The Bible tells us when we confess our sins, God forgives us as far as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:11-12)

Next, move into thanking God for his many blessings. When children, and adults too, take the time to count the many blessings of the Lord, gratefulness settles over the soul.

Finally, supplication can be addressed. Calling on the Name of the Lord to answer our pleas for help is an actor both submission and trust. We submit to the power of God who can do more than we can ever imagine. (Ephesians 3:20-21) We trust the Lord to do what’s in our best interests knowing our prayers may not be answered as we desire.

Here’s an example of the ACTS format.

“Lord you are awesome, powerful, loving, and merciful.” ADORATION
“I confess my sins to you… ” CONFESSION
“Thank you for…” THANKFULNESS
“Please help me to…” SUPPLICATION

As with any habit, it takes time. And most importantly, if your children see and hear you pray, there will be better chance of them doing likewise. Those little sweeties may not always do what we say, but they always do what we do! Lead your children to their knees, relying on the power of the Lord.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

Happy Easter!

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God is very clear about the role of parents in being the spiritual leaders in the home in Deuteronomy 11:18-20. In the hustle and bustle of busy family life, I have to stop and remind myself to talk about matters of faith in both instructing mode and casual conversation. When faith is woven into the fabric of everyday life it becomes part of who the family is, building a solid foundation that can withstand the storms of life.

I want to be like Mary, Jesus’s mother, who treasured many things in her heart as it related to her Son. And I want my boys to be like their Savior. “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:52).

Hopefully the ideas, Bible verses, and activities highlighted this month will help you in focusing on Jesus this Easter. Build that foundation, stone by stone, on the Solid Rock.

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb,  but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’”  Then they remembered his words.     Luke 24:1-6

Happy Easter! He is risen! He is risen indeed!
With love from my house to yours,
xo Becky

He is Risen Indeed!

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When my boys were young, they loved the story about the wise and foolish builders from Matthew 7:24-27. Melody Carlson’s Tale of Two Houses was one of their favorite books. Steve Bjorkman’s illustrations made them laugh! As the boys have grown, Scott and I have tried to be intentional in constructing a solid foundation in biblical teachings. Time will tell. I think I pray for my kids more now that they are teenagers than I did when they were little boys!

Continuing on this month with ideas for building a foundation of faith in Jesus for Easter, here are a few more ideas to use with your children to draw them into the true meaning of this beautiful springtime holy day.

• Make Resurrection Rolls with your children. Click on the link for the recipe from a past post. It’s a tasty treat and an exciting activity for kids!

• Include a children’s Bible or storybook about Easter in your child’s basket among the chocolates and jelly beans as a reminder of why we celebrate this glorious day.

• Use Resurrection Eggs to tell the story of Jesus’ sacrifice. The eggs can be found in Christian bookstores or create your own set.

Easter Resurrection Eggs
Assemble twelve plastic eggs. With a permanent marker, number each egg, 1-12. Fill each egg with the following items. Plan on asking older children to look up the scripture verses or you may use the download, Resuurection Eggs for Easter, to cut apart, fold, and place inside each egg.

1. Bread- A crouton, oyster cracker, or a small piece of bread. Luke 22:19-20
2. Silver Coins- Dimes, nickels, or quarters.  Matthew 26:14-16
3. Whip- A piece of string. John 19:1
4. Thorny Crown- A piece of a rose stem with a thorn or toothpicks. John 19:2a
5. Purple Robe- A small piece of purple cloth. John 19:2b-3
6. Cross- Clip the points off two toothpicks, one shorter. Tie with string. John 19:16-18
7. Nails- Small brads or finishing nails. John 20:25
8. Sign- Brown paper with “King of the Jews” written on it. John 19:19-20
9. Sponge- Cube of a sponge dipped in vinegar. John 19:29
10. Linen with Spices- Strips of cloth scented with cloves. Luke 23:50-56
11. Stone- A rock. Matthew 28:1-3
12. Empty Tomb- Empty plastic egg. Matthew 28:5-7

Resurrection Eggs may be used in a number of ways. Mix them in with the other eggs for the Easter Egg Hunt. Afterward, have your children sort out the eggs with numbers. Starting with number one, have each child read the verses enclosed in the egg.
Another idea is to have the eggs as part of a Easter morning breakfast discussion. Place them in a basket. Go around the table, each family member opening an egg. Display the object inside for all to see and read the verse.

• Join me on Pinterest for more Easter ideas!

May God bless you abundantly as you celebrate the Gift of Easter with your family!